We all want to do our best as parents because our kids deserve the best, right?! We parents wear many hats, and let’s be honest, this is a tough job most days! Here are some strategies that will help your kiddo be her/his best!! I bet you are already doing most of these!!
- Be a Detective – find out what your kiddo is good at…this is often what s/he is interested in. Every child was created for a purpose, even if it takes a lifetime to figure out that purpose! Help your child learn their strengths and explore their interests. Expose them to new things, even if it’s just a little exposure at a time. Catch them working hard! Notice them being silly! Watch for them to make mistakes, then teach them that is okay to make mistakes!
- Be a Cheerleader – this does not mean making a fool of yourself on the sidelines (ok, sometimes we parents just can’t help ourselves), but it means noticing when our kids do well at something…anything…school, art, sportsmanship. Be specific. Tell them how much you noticed the hard work they put into something. It’s best to emphasize the effort they are making, more than the outcome. Example, “Jenny, you are really working hard to build this tower. Wow!” or I’m so impressed that you are hanging in there because this is tough!” You have now given your child a huge message about working hard, not quitting. You have given them more than a vague compliment of “Good job!”
- Be an Advocate – we need to help our kids stand up for themselves in peaceful, non-violent ways with their peers. And we also need to stand up for them. Being an advocate can be as simple as talking to the teacher about how your child learns best. Your kiddo also needs to be able to ask for help and see this as a sign of strength and courage. This is a powerful way to set your child up for success!
- Be Honest – Tell your kids the truth, give them age appropriate information about life and what is going on in the world….your kids will most likely learn to be truthful with you, as you role model being trustworthy and honest. It’s also important for kids to know that they will struggle…and this is normal and ok! No one is perfect at everything. Be honest about the stuck places in your life, and how you overcame them (or are overcoming them), so you can help your kiddo identify the areas that s/he needs to work harder at in their lives.
- Be a Prayer Warrior – this may be the single most important thing you can do for your kiddo. There is a lot we can do, and a lot we parents cannot do…. but one of the most powerful and simple things we can do is to pray for our children. Say a prayer out loud for them on the way to school, on the way to a game, on the way to a play date…When you have a day where you have no clue what to do for your child or family, pray. Just a simple statement of faith like “I trust you God,” will give you more peace as you seek the next step to take.
- Be Positive & Encouraging – kids are bombarded with negativity and consumerism, video games and social media. Model a growth mindset, a “Can Do” Attitude! Turn off the news (yes, I know we have it on a lot more during this pandemic!) and set limits around screens as much as possible, as research has shown that over-use of screens creates irritability and increases depression and anxiety.
- Be Responsible– by teaching your kids responsibility. They need age-appropriate chores, so they can feel they are contributing to the family. There are a lot of great apps out there that you can use to assign your child chores and give them rewards and incentives for helping the family. Being responsible also means teaching kiddos how to take responsibility for their mistakes versus blaming others.
- Be Teachable – look for teachable moments! They are all around us, often when we make mistakes. Point out to your kiddo that we often learn much more from our mistakes than we do from the things that went right. Empower your child to teach you something new! This will help your child become a life-long learner! Teach them to give back through volunteering. This promotes an attitude of gratitude!
- Be Courageous – Is there a step you need to take in your own life? Maybe it is a lifestyle choice, resting more, exercising more, eating healthier, playing more? It is important to role model for our kiddos that we have our own struggles and areas to improve. So step up, own it, and make a solid effort! Your kids will notice and be inspired by you!
- PLAY!! One of the best things that your kiddo needs from you is your time. An incredibly wise man, once said that kids spell Love, “T-I-M-E.” They don’t need a lot of your time, but they do need to know that they matter to you. Give yourself permission to enjoy playing board games, playing wiffle ball, tag, hide and seek, “I Spy,” card games, Legos, or anything in which your child is interested. Let your child lead the activity, whenever possible. Did you know that many studies have shown that babies and kids smile and laugh hundreds of times a day? As we get older, most adults laugh less than twenty times a day!!! We can learn a lot from our kids by playing, smiling, and laughing more!
None of the suggestions on this list is rocket science, right?! Yet I am hopeful that it serves as a good reminder that our kiddos need us. They are watching us and listening to us…. especially when we think they are not! These suggestions are not in any order of importance, but they are important. You are the most important resource and protective factor for your child! Enjoy this free set of “Gotcha Cards” for your family. Printing them on simple cardstock works best. They are a fun way to work on the things on this list!
If you feel stuck or your kiddo is stuck, give me a call for a FREE 15-minute Strategy Session!